Yep… that’s the advice I’m given all the time.
You are busy – so what!
You have a family – so what!
You are running a company – so what!
You have bills to pay – so what!
All of these comments end with an exclamation mark, not a question. But it’s the question mark that really matters.
I have found that over the years, there have been many sleepless nights, 4am wake-ups with a pounding heart and a stomach that aches with anxiety. I’m a hustler. I love working. I love being an entrepreneur. I will always be busy and productive. However the price for my Type A personality is that it can be overwhelming at times. That alone has been my biggest challenge and struggle as a lone entrepreneur.
I have learned that those who I support – whether it’s my team, partners, customers – ANYONE; only really wants to hear the good news. No one wants to know if you are not 100%.
In my journey, I experience highs 98% of the time – I have in fact created the life on my vision board. The price I have paid is the dark 2% of the time when I can barely breathe and cope. One of the hardest issues I have experienced is the reaction of others when I say “no” for my own sanity or say “I need help – I am so not good right now.” People tend to say “Ok well before you lose your shit, I need one more thing from you.” It’s that one more thing that I always find is my breaking point.
How have I survived the crisis point?
#1. Through very strong communication with the people in my home; my kids and my husband who is my knight in shining armour. I get to hit the panic button; go for a walk, go shopping, eat and yes, have a drink to soothe the intensity of the nerves. I am forgiven for my anxiety with love and understanding. My son had an art project last night on his life. He wrote he “loves the positivity in our home.” So, we are good – but I protect that positivity like a lion protecting her cub.
#2. DELETE – my time is very precious. If my time is taken advantage of or stolen from me and disregarded, you will be deleted, unfriended and there will be a loss of communication. I must do this for my own survival.
#3. I have surrounded myself with people who love me. I am honoured with the people in my life – they are brilliant, strong, funny, caring and kind. It doesn’t mean arguments don’t happen – of course there are disagreements. Differences of opinion don’t define character. Character and intentions define character. I appreciate my friends that know, understand and appreciate that I come and go due to my schedule and desire to achieve my goals. I love my family and friends.
#4. I got a lifesaver. I have struggled with my own self-worth – am I enough? Have I done enough? My feelings crumble when I feel misunderstood or negatively judged. We joke in my family that I got all the feelings my husband didn’t get. You can only hurt one of his feelings at a time and he recovers easily. I on the other hand do not. I am learning to overcome. My life-coach is literally saving me and giving me tools to cope along the journey. I want the 2% to go to 0%. I don’t know if it’s possible but a few years ago it was 10% so I believe it is possible.
In light of today being Suicide Prevention Day, I felt I should share my own story. Think we should stop saying “suck it up buttercup.” The “or not” can lead to despair and it can be devastating to the person on the receiving end.
For anyone feeling despair, please seek help – hit the panic button – it’s OK. It’s most likely we have all felt what you are feeling. For those feeling it, be brave and share your story – you will make a difference worth living for.
Here is some info:
International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)